About month or two ago I watched a documentary.

It was some shady back alley film I found on the internet, it was full of heated arguments and night vision shots of sad mistreated animals being raised for the slaughter house.

This film brought up an anger and sadness in me, but mostly just made me want to puke.
(I wouldn't recommend anyone go through those 40 something minutes of emotions on purpose.)

It also gave me an epiphany of sorts.

Now, I'm not going to sit here and preach to you how you should make a lifestyle change right now because meat is murder and blah blah blah.
I'm not one to force diets on others, and I also don't want to make a big deal about this and then be spotted chowing on a hamburger a month from now because who knows how my feelings will have changed by then.

But, I am going to share my current thoughts with you on the matter, because thats what this blog is for; my thoughts.

The last couple of years I have gone through various phases of vegetarianism and/or veganism. A couple months of no meat, or just fish and eggs to the next month of anything but chicken until I would forget and move on to eating whatever was convenient.
My reasonings where back and forth with no real philosophy behind it other than whatever mood I was in at the moment.

The epiphany I had for myself after watching this film, and thinking about my own life choices, was that I have been some what of a hypocrite.
I love animals.
I have always been against hunting and zoos and for goodness sakes I did an in-depth exposé on the mistreatment of race horses in the fourth grade (and before internet was a thing, I had to use a LIBRARY).

I have always said that I just can't think too hard about where my dinner came from, which is why seeing meat in a more true to life form has always been rough for me.

I have very strong opinions on the sport of hunting, which I won't start into because it could go on for days...but what is the difference between me buying a hunk of ribs from the deli line or someone hauling a deer in the back of their truck?
(besides the serial killer tendencies that is...oops I guess I did start in on it)

Moral of the story, it made me realize that I was going against my own beliefs and it also made me want to puke just thinking about devouring any meat product.
I still can't imagine eating a hamburger without feeling queasy in the stomach.

Not to say eating meat means you don't love animals...my mind just couldn't wrap these things together into a way that made sense for ME. I just thought about where the food I was eating came from and it created a very physical response in my body that I couldn't push past.

Its like that time I was throwing up all night after having had a Costco lasagna for dinner. Just seeing it in the stores after that created a gagging response and you bet I never even thought about eating that stuff again.

Really when I think about any food or beverage it kinda grosses me out.
vegetables grow in the dirt. outside. apples come from a tree, ewww. what even is water?!
Welcome to my brain, guys.

You might say, well what about eggs and dairy Carina?
Well I will say to you, I haven't eaten dairy in years so its already gone for the sake of my bodily needs. But also why do you need to?
Milk has always weirded me out. As much as I love cheese, ice cream and the dairy works....cow milks purpose is for a baby cow. Just like human breast milk is made for baby humans, not for a sheep.

And eggs are really kinda in the same boat. Why? Why do we need to eat them?

Who decided humans needed to be carnivores, who decided we should drink other animals milk and eat their legs or the weird things that come out of their rumps? (my brain says hi again!)

and if theres anything I hate it's is people telling me what to do and how to live.


(I'm not saying for sure that I will never eat an animal product ever again in my life, I realize that on top of my other dietary restrictions this is eliminating a huge chunk of edibles. That said, I haven't had any desire or craving for these products so far, and don't see that changing any time soon. By focusing my diet on vegetables and legumes, I do reach my recommended nutrient values, so don't you worry about my protein intake okay? Also, I don't regularly eat honey so thats not been an a matter I have opinions about so far, but I do eat the chocolate honey mints from Trader Joes so I guess that answers that question.)

*my purpose in this post is not to judge any ones else's eating habits or lifestyles, just sharing my views and opinions in an effort to stay open and honest about my own journey.
you just keep doing you boo.

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