20120524

Before it Begins...

Ever since I rashly decided to blog my Celiac journey, I have regretted it. The second I saw that post lit up on my screen for all the world to see I wished I hadn't done it. I thought about deleting it-pretending it didn't happen, hoping that nobody saw those words I'd written, or the promise I made.
Why did I change my mind? Simple answer-I didn't want to remember the past. I've spent a lot of time trying to move forward from my history, and I did not want to go back into it.
You see, my youth was a very dark time for me; so far past the point of typical teen angst drama. I felt a lot of things back then that I don't want to ever have to think about or feel again.
None-the-less, I traveled backwards trying my hardest to keep myself as unattached from my youthful self as I possibly could.
I've had my posts written for days now, the tale of my sick life. But once again, I'm having regrets. I read them over and over writing and rewriting, trying to share whats relevant and keep back things that aren't. Trying to figure out why I didn't want to press that little post button. Realizing that I've never really discussed the details with anyone before, even my immediate family only knows bits and pieces.
It came down to two options; post or don't post.
Share my struggles with others who may be going through the same things I did, or go on pretending like me past life never happened.
I did not write posts that would be comparative to diary entries, I did not share every feeling that I had my entire life. I stuck to the facts and the relevant details, things anyone who knows me probably already knows, things that anyone newly diagnosed would want to know. So why not, what do I have to lose?
So here it goes-the timer is set, the posts are coming, I'm past the point of no return. To keep you all from getting too bored, I'll be sharing a few of my favorite things intermediately.
The next couple weeks are gonna be all about me, but they (hopefully) will be helpful to all the other lost celiac souls out in the world.
Feel free to comment or email carinabeancreates at yahoo dot com if there are any questions or stories you'd like me to share with you.
Remember, this is all for you folks!

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